Monthly Scoop: October 2011

So that’s it.  September’s over.  What an amazingly short, yet strangely productive month.  I’m finding it’s nice to have the JonnyD Weekly around so I can remember what I’ve been up to.  My memory only works for about 36 hours, tops.  I’m writing this Saturday night.  I can’t recall Thursday at all anymore.

I do know, however, that I am finally down to the backwash of my August bucket list.  Moby Dick is read, as is two-thirds of the everything my co-workers have loaned me.  I also beat Baldur’s Gate II, a PC game that I’ve been sitting on since 2001, and have been picking away at for over a year.

And let’s not forget the Gauntlet!  The question I keep getting is, “When’s the Gauntlet II?”  When, mind you, not, Will there be.  To answer that, lets say, January 2012.

In short, the slate is clear.  Its time to change gears - make a new list of goals to keep me busy until the end of the year.  If you’ve noticed, I’ve already started laying the ground work.

With the colder climate on its way, its time to return to my writing.  Temporaltorium has been patiently sitting on my desk for the better part of 2011, waiting for me to delve into round three of editing it.  I am not looking forward to it.  The trimming I need to do is like taking a Miata, and crunching it down to the size of a matchcar.

On the flip side, I’m long overdue to start writing something new.  I haven’t created new material since I finished the novel back in July 2010.  I have several novels floating around in my mind.  I’ve also thought about unloading dozens of short stories to send off to magazines.  That seems the more productive idea.

And then there’s the Fat Chance Heroes.  A co-worker of mine wanted to join a 5K run I had signed up for.  It logically followed that we come up with a team name.  Then we decided it was silly to make a good team name only to use it this one time. 

So, now the Fat Chance Heroes have their own page at

http://fatchanceheroes.blogspot.com

and are looking for events and/or charities to sign up for.

Along with a team name, we came up with alter-egos, like Mystery Longshanks, Cold Man Fusion, Blackout.  The characters have been so damn interesting that I could make up fantastical stories of their exploits.

I’m seriously considering it…

Moby Dick

You won’t usually get a book report out of me because 1) I don’t read that fast, and 2) I don’t find reports to be all that interesting myself.  But when the book in question is Moby Dick, a certain amount of acknowledgement is in order.

I started the book on February 28th.  I finished it September 10th.  What’s that?  Six and a half months?  Sounds right.  6.5 months to read 650 pages.  I guess that’s not too bad…

For anyone who’s debating reading the book, consider this your warning.  Naturally, being written in 1851, it has that ye old language style that nigh use nowadays.  At first you’d swear it’s an entirely different language.

Now, I’m a person who is dedicated to the idea that you read EVERY, SINGLE, WORD.  The author wrote it that way, and to honor and respect him, I feel I should read it that way.  But that’s hard when the sentences go on, and on, and on, for half a page apiece. 

And he’s a point repeater; he says the thing over and over, but a different way each time - like he’ll beat around the bush to deliver a point, expounding with all sorts of prepositions, statements that sound like unripe tangents, which in turn all have their own pile of baggage, just to say what he’s getting at.  And then he keeps going.  It doesn’t stop.  Its like he has to explain it from so many different angles so that you fully and entirely get the point.  I understood just fine the first time, but no, he has to…
Great, now I’m doing it!  Thanks a lot Melville :-(

Don’t get me wrong - it is an exceptional book, and I am proud of myself for having read it.  It does exactly what it intends to do.  It is a novel, but it also a documentary on the art of whaling in the 1800s.  The chapters on whaling are extremely informative, and fascinating; but at the same time underwhelming.  They take a lot away from the action. 

The story itself is compelling.  It never occurred to me that you would discover a humane and sympathetic side to Ahab. Of course we all know that Captain Ahab self-destructive mission for revenge is going to lead to his ultimate demise, but going into the novel, I didn’t know how that was going to play out exactly?  What happens to him?  I assumed he died.  And what about the whale?  Do they kill each other?  Does Moby Dick get away?  Even into the last ten pages, I didn’t know.

And let me tell you, those last ten page are intense, and raw even for our time.

Monthly Scoop: September 2011

I have become acutely aware of the fact that even though I get up the same time every day for work, the sun now thinks it can sleep in longer than me.  It’s starting to mess with my psyche.  The little primal critter in me knows that it can mean only one thing:  its September.  Fall is only three weeks away.  No, its not time to start reigning in your nuts for the season, but its definitely time to start thinking about it. 


But first, there is another matter to attend to.  Remember my August bucket? (No? hmm… Click Here)

Now that we’re all up to speed, let’s continue.  Remember that bucket list of mine?  Yeah… that bucket’s nowhere near empty.  For one, there’s still a massive Sperm Whale in there.  I know.  I know.  I’ve been reading Moby Dick since what…March?  Yeah, that sounds right. 

Don’t judge me!  Have you ever read Moby Dick?  No?  I didn’t think so.  So shut up! 

How about you?  Yes, you have?  How long did it take you?... oh… well you can shut up, too I guess.

- Sigh -

Sorry to be so crass about the topic ;-)  I’m almost done with the book, though.  Less than 80 pages to go!

Moving on.  Don’t let the bucket fool you.  I’ve actually cleared out a good deal of it, such as:

I beat The Darkness.  Again, if you haven’t heard the story about how the PS3 game scared the crap out of me and how I could only play it during the day with someone home, you might want to read about it and get a good laugh at my expense. (Read the blog)

The war between myself at the 105” tree trunk in my backyard wages on.  The last skirmish ended with one side suffering a twisted wrist and three massive blisters; while the other side endured the dismemberment of seven of its roots, the largest being the size of my thigh.

Probably the best moment of August was Taylor Falls.  I love canoeing.  It has to be, especially in the early morning, one of the most serene things to be doing.  Two years ago, coworker of mine told me about a place in Taylor Falls where you can rent a canoe, and make your way miles down the docile waters of the St. Croix river.  They will pick you up and drive you back to your car.  How awesome is that?!  So last Saturday Tonya and I drove up there and got out on the water.  It was absolutely beautiful.  The weather was perfect.  If you’ve never done it, you should.  I want to go back so badly already.


There was something regarding a custom deck of cards that happen in August, but that is a story for later this month :-) 


The Buffalo Wild Wing’s “Blazing Hot Wing Challenge,” did not happen.  12 wings, 6 minutes, covered in their hottest sauce.  Tell him what they win Jonny!  Nothing!  Absolutely nothing.  Is the meal on the house like every other place offering a eating challenge?  No.  Do I get a souvenir?  Yes! you get a shirt;  but you have to buy it first…

No thanks.  I’ll pass. 

We had a good run last month, but with fall on its way, its time to get my nuts in a row.  For example, I have two movie ideas for Stranger Things Studios that I’m idly mulling around.  I may start in on them.  I may not. 

In all honesty, there are other aspects of my life that I feel I need to attend to.  For that reason, I may be backing off a bit from the JonnyD Weekly.  Never fear, there will still be weekly posts.  There just may not be the two or three a week that there has been. 

I have been putting a lot of thought into my writing lately.  I feel it’s time to get back into it.  I have a finished novel sitting on my desk, after all.  However, there is a lot to do before I feel I’d be in a position to get Temporaltorium out on the market again.

And then there’s the video game tournament… The Gauntlet is on its way!

Monthly Scoop: August 2011

Every year I have at least one month that never happened.  It goes like this:  May 1^st, 2^nd, 3^rd, April 1^st, 2^nd, 3^rd, 4^th ….wait, wait, wait! What happened to the rest of May?  July was that month for me. 

That is why at least once a year, coincidentally right after the missing month, I make a bucket list.  Hence this image of the guy wandering around with a bucket on his head.  Poor sad bastard…

What was I saying?  Ah, yes.  Bucket list.  I told a friend of mine that August was my bucket list month.  He told me that I can only make a bucket list of things I’m afraid I won’t get to do before I die.  Well, I want to get them done, and I don’t think I’m going to get around to doing them after I’m dead, so I’ll just do them this August.

So, I’ve made my list of everything I keep saying to myself, “I keep meaning to do that,” or “I’ll get around to it eventually,” or even the horrid “God, I still haven’t finished that?!” 

No, I’m not going relay the entire list here.  That’s be boring.  Instead, let’s talk about the projects I normally talk about:

Temporaltorium - didn’t touch it.

Moby Dick - 9 pages….that’s right, 9.

Stranger Things Studios - Oh My God!  Did Jon actually got something done in July?  Barely.  Three days ago I finally finished work on the studio’s second short film, entitled “A Little Bit of Muscle.”  It is currently undergoing pre-screening amongst close friends and the crew, but look forward to seeing the film both on YouTube and on this blog in the next week and a half!

So watch for that, and watch out for  my bucket list blogs in the weeks to come. 

Spoiler alert:  there might be something about the aftermath of a hot wing competition, as well as a capsized canoe.  Stay tuned!

Monthly Scoop: July 2011

While I was in Juneau, Alaska last week I bought a cute little toy voodoo doll.  It looks like something you could probably pick at a Spencer’s or a Hot Topic.  He’s the “Judo Kid,” who according to the package is meant “To help you say no to timewasters & unwelcome demands on your time.”

I figured that he’d be the perfect little guy to help me stay productive, and out of all the timewasters out there slowing me down, the worst is… well… me.  So I bought him as a reminder that I need to stop dawdling and make shit happen. 

On that note, it’s time for a monthly update!  Let’s start with:

Moby Dick

He’s big.  He’s daunting.  And thanks to plenty of air and travel time on my two week Alaskan cruise, I took a healthy chunk out of him.  156 pages to be exact.  Thank you.  Thank you…  Nevermind that in the same amount of time, Tonya polished off three books, and only has 156 pages left of her fourth… sigh.  237 pages left of the ol’ whale’s tale.  I shall endure.

Moving onto my novel, Temporaltorium … … … …  Alright, next topic: 

Stranger Things Studios 

I am pleased to announce that STS’s untitled debut film is available to watch on YouTube.  Of course, I recommend that you watch it, love it, and share it with your friends.  I will be dedicating a post to the film later this week.

Watch it on YouTube: STS Debut Film

In other news, STS is well underway on its second short film, a car movie entitled A Little Bit of Muscle.  Filming is done, and work has moved onto the video and sound editing stages.  Hopefully it will be available to watch within the next week and a half. 

Ongoing Projects

Alright, down to business.  For June’s status update, let me outline my major on-going projects.  I’m afraid I haven’t been as dedicated towards them as I normally am - something about moving and settling into my new place keeps me busy.  Pssst. Whatever, right?  Anyways, I am only going to graze the surface on these projects.  I will go into greater detail in the weeks to come.

Temporaltorium

First and foremost is Temporaltorium, the novel I have spent the last three years working on.  Two years to write it.  One year so far editing it.  It is roughly 220,000 words long (which in English means 750 pages).  Since December 1st, I have sent the manuscript out to 15 literary agents.  Two have yet to reply.  The others have sadly declined :(

Stranger Things Studios

For a combination of reasons, I took a break from writing to dabble in filmmaking. For my first attempt, I’ve been working solo on an odd short piece about a ghost that invades someone’s home in search of sustenance.  I have two shots to redo.  Otherwise, I already have the rest of the movie cut.  I only plan to screen it to a few friends at first.  Depending on its reception, I may air it online.  We’ll see.

Moby Dick

As a slow reader, I figured reading Herman Melville’s masterpiece would be a great idea! (That’s sarcasm for anyone that doesn’t know me).  Anyone who has ever read the book will warn you about how excessive the text is.  Once I’m finally done, I will probably do the same.  The behemoth is 655 pages long.  I have managed to chew my way through 262 pages.  That’s exactly 40% of the text.  Throughout May I could only bring myself to read 26 pages…yeah, its going to be awhile.