Halloween: Breaking Bad

For those of you who don't know,
"Breaking Bad" is about chemistry
teacher Walter White, who when
diagnosed with terminal cancer,
decides to cook meth in order
to provide for his family.

Some people go all out for Halloween.  Some think it’s the greatest holiday out there.  I, believe it or not, am not one of those people.  This year however, I might have a hard time convincing you otherwise.

I’m a bit self-conscious about my receding hairline.  I become hyper aware of it when my hair gets too long, and it starts to look like the comb-over that old professors seem to sport - you know who I’m talking about.  I know you’ve had that teacher, too!

Well, it was time for a haircut again.  It was also closing in on Halloween.  And in my contempt, I said the usual “maybe I should just shave it all off.  I’m going to look that way soon enough anyways.”  I also jokingly said to myself that I could just shave it off, and be Walter White from the TV show “Breaking Bad.”


I said that on Monday.  I wasn’t serious.  Well, not until I shaved it on Thursday.

If you’ve never shaved your head before, let me warn you - you’re skull has no temperature regulation.  When you’re not moving, its hot, because that’s where all the heat in your body vents from.  When you move in the slightest, it gets cold and drafty.  Really weird.  Try it out. 

It’s also hard to get use to how you look.  Between the buzz and the goatee, I feel like a dweeby nerd inside a thug’s body.  Strangers look at me differently.  I went to buy something from Sears.  The salesman seemed like he wasn’t interested in selling to me, which was weird, because I’ve bought both my lawnmower, and my snow-blower from him.  He didn’t recognize me.  I didn’t bother to introduce myself.  He wanted nothing to do with me.  Shallow prick…

Work on Friday was fun.  Nothing but positive feedback.  The three reactions I got were as follows:

1. “Dude, you look just like him, only younger.”

2. “I seriously didn’t recognize you.  I just thought you had a new temp in your department.  Like, you waved at me and I just thought, well isn’t he a friendly guy.”

3. “You have a nice shaped head.  It doesn’t look deformed or nothin’”


My favorite, however, was “Hey, can I get a picture of you to send to my wife?”

I can honestly say I have never had anyone say those words, in that order to me before.