The Nerdist Podcast LIVE

Anyone who has followed the JonnyD Weekly for even two weeks knows how excited I was to find out that the Nerdist Podcast was performing a live show at the Varsity Theater in Minneapolis.  People who actually know me have suffered the privilege of hearing about it since I bought my tickets back in November.  For those of you who have no idea what I’m talking about, Hi, welcome to the JonnyD Weekly.  You may what to skim these first:

JonnyD Weekly #60 - Star Stuck 1: James Earl Jones

JonnyD Weekly #55 - My Podcasts

The show was awesome!  You will not hear me say otherwise.  Each of the guys started out with a short comedy set: Matt Mira, Jonah Ray, and then Chris Hardwick.  Afterwards they all came out and did a live podcast on the stage, took a few questions and comments, and then set up for a meet and greet after the show.

Meeting someone you’re a fan of is kind of like trying to make an impression on that really cute girl at your school that is way out of your league.  You’re going to try anyways, even though you know you’re going to shame and soil yourself, but that’s hormones for you.  

The Varsity Theater in Dinkytown, Minneapolis, between shows

The moments leading up to your inevitable doom is a sad battle between the rational and nerdy you that knows this won’t end well; and the cool, hot-shot greaser you, that you have never meant in your entire life.  You don’t trust him, but with his cocksure attitude and that slick hair-do you find yourself going along with everything he says.  And it sounds so good when it rolls off his tongue, doesn’t it?  He tells how to be cool, what to say, how to say it, and how to make that girl look longingly at you by the time you’re done.  It feels good knowing he’s there with you, and that you’re going to get the girl of your dreams.

He leads you up to her.  You weakly say “Hi <insert name you will never forget with pride>”  She notices you, more often than not, with disdain.  And then, instead of giving you that reassuring pat on your back, your greaser alter-ego says, “You got this, kid,” and fucking beats it.

At almost thirty, my old buddy greaser isn’t the jazzy man he use to be.  However, he is far more optimistic in my stage performance than I am.  He even came up with this really great idea that never crossed my mind when I meant James Earl Jones.  It’s called…(ready for this)…a plan. 

Leading up to the show, I tried to come up with something simple yet impressionable to say to each of them.  If I ended up winging it in the end, fine.  As long as I had a plan. 

Chris Hardwick has talked multiple times on the podcast about what it’s like to be on either side of that exchange.  I spent most of my time in line thinking about it in length, both my own ponderings and his.  No one wants to be just another brick in the wall.  Everyone wants to make that lasting impression, they want to be able to show how much their idol has effected them by attempting to effect them to the same degree.  But it’s impossible.  We all want to win over that girl in school, but unfortunately it only comes across as desperation.  And it must be painful to have it happen to you.  I mean if you’re that guy (in this example, Chris Hardwick), and quivering mess after quivering mess comes up to you, wouldn’t you feel just as uncomfortable, if not more?

Of course there’s the people who make bad impressions - sometimes on purpose - or come across as “too cool,” but we all have our defense mechanisms, right?  I do understand the subconscious rationale, though.  Everyone remembers the bad people first. 

Anyways, that’s not me.  I don’t do that.  I don’t spew and gush over people.  I flat out shut up.  I don’t say anything.  I look for hands, I shake them.  And then I find my exit.  That’s my auto-pilot.

Remember that plan of mine?  Yeah, that didn’t happen, but we all knew that going into this, now didn’t we?   I am proud of myself, though - or at least not ashamed of myself.  I didn’t gush.  My voice didn’t crack.  I wasn’t trembling or any of that other visceral crap no one has control over.  I shook their hands.  I said “Nice to meet you.”  I was still awkward, don’t get me wrong, and I spent the whole interaction fighting off the auto-pilot that told me, “don’t worry about the autographs, just get the hell out of there!”

While Chris and Johan were signing my book, I looked at Matt Mira and told him something about his stand-up set that amused me.  At one point he talked about masturbating as a kid and using inanimate objects.  A little while later he talked about working at a funeral home.  That's kind of messed up when you put the two together.

R to L: Jonah Ray, Tonya, Chris Hardwick,
Myself, Matt Mira, some lady running the gift table.

They all got a good laugh out of that.  They were still bantering about it as I was finding my exit. 

One thing Chris Hardwick has said on the podcast is that in that situation, it's never really about the celebrity.  It’s a good thing to keep in mind.  It’s about you and your performance. 

I think I did good.  At the very least, I did better than last time.