THAT Guy...

*DISCLAIMER:  This post is not directed at any specific person, nor regarding any specific event.  However, if you find this offensive, you might want to ask yourself why you feel that way.

I try not to vent on this blog, because no one likes an irate complainer.  But today, I’m going to be that guy…

Because no one likes someone that needlessly corrects you either! 

How often has this happened to you?:  You think of something whimsical, or thoughtful, or important to you; or you create something; and you want to share it with people.  You sign into Facebook, type it out, and post it.  Time goes by, and then…

Someone commented on your status!  But when you read it, all you find is someone correcting you on a spelling error, or a grammatical error, or the misuse of a word.  The people commenting afterwards only continue to deliberate on the mistake.  You comment back saying “oops,” but it doesn’t really stop anything.

When everyone who has something they can’t help but add has said what they’re going to, and you look back on the wreckage, you feel a bit sour because no one commented on the actual message you were trying to convey.  No one cares that you smashed your fingers in your car door.  They’re too busy mocking you because you said “jar” instead of “car.”  Eleven comments saying things like,

Just shoot me...

    - Wow, how big of a jar is it that it has a door instead of a lid?

    - That’s what you get for trying to steal cookies.

    - (You) Sorry, 'car' door.  Not 'jar'.  My fingers are swollen.

    - Were you going after your wife’s baked goods again?

    - More like she was trying to lock him inside the jar.

    - Lol

    - Did she poke holes in the lid so you can breathe….

One person.  ONE person says, “Oh my god, are you okay?” but no one acknowledges it.

Does that happen to you?  Doesn’t it piss you off?  Why do we do that?   Why do people think its funny?  No one likes it when it happens to them, and there’s no reason to do it.

I don’t get pissed off that someone wants to poke fun at something I say.  I get pissed off because someone has to start this crap every time, without fail, and your original point gets completely missed. 

Have you ever ask someone if they got a haircut, and some other person has to chime in with, “Well, it looks like she got more than one cut.  Har har har”?

Would you make fun of someone who you know has a hard time articulating themselves?  Do you constantly correct someone who can’t spell that well; writes “seen” instead of “scene,” or has to work out something phonetically?  Do you find it fun to mess with a kid’s brain by using homonyms?  How about people who use the wrong tense in conversation, “So, I says to the guy…”  Do you constantly tell people it's “loaned,” not “borrowed”?

Are you amongst the refined, intellectual paragons of society that must deliberate and expound upon a matter at that sacrifice of propriety and camaraderie in order to validate yourself and elevate your heritage above the filth of bourgeois? (or, in layman's terms, “Do you use big words to make yourself feel good about yourself?”)

Good.  Great.  We get it.  Someone made a mistake.  We all picked up on it.  The polite thing to do would be to forgive and ignore it.

But not you!  Nope.  You had to point it out, didn’t you? Had to get the credit; prove how much smarter and better you are.  Well, lucky you.  You win!  You’re THAT guy.

And no one likes that guy...