IDK

Fail-blog text messages amuse me.  I don’t care if they’re fake, or if they’re going out of style.  I read a “top 25” set at the beginning of the year that by the end of them I was laughing so hard I was crying and I couldn’t even read them out loud anymore.

 

My most recent favorite goes something like this:

- Hey, do you know what IDK means?

- I don’t know.

- Ug!  No one knows!

Days later, it still tickles me.  In fact, I want to simulate that same conversation with an unsuspecting participant.

It hasn’t going my way.  By the time I decided to, I’d already told the story to most of my fiends.  The first person I tried it on went like this:

- Hey, what does IDK mean?

- IDK?

- Yeah, what does it mean?

He thought about it for a minute in earnest.  Something clicked in his brain, he laughed, asked, “Are you fucking with me?!” and walked away.

Next person: “Hey, what does IDK mean?”  Minutes go by, during which time he reads the message, figures out what I want him to say, and smiles.  He writes me back.  This morning he said that after a few minutes went by without an answer, he knew I was done with him.  Which was true.  I read his reply, closed my phone, and tossed it on  the table.

“Is he dead to you, now?” My wife asked, laughing.

“Yep.”

“Why, what did he say?”

“…‘Yes.’”

What the hell, I’ve had better luck telling people I was going to pick up some Updog on the way home…

...sigh…