KABOOM!

Getting blow up by a bomb sucks.  It’s never happened to me personally, but I’m sure that if it did, it would. 

Let’s say it’s the end of your work day.  You’re on your way out to your car - you’re tired; your crabby; work sucked; it always sucks - when, oh look, there’s low flying plane headed way you.  Then, when its almost directly overhead, a massive object that can only be a bomb detaches from its underbelly.

Well, that sucks.

What do you do?  Any Public Service Announcement will tell you “A bomb!  Duck and Cover.”

Wrong.  If you’re in the middle of a field that’s very shortly going to be a massive crater, swatting down in the grass isn’t going to do dick shit for you.  And what a way to go.  Bomb hits, shockwave goes out, and your body incinerates instantly in a stance you only find yourself in when you can’t wait until the next rest stop to go to the bathroom.

I figure the moment you see that chunk of metal dropping from the sky, the rest of your day is pretty well planned out for you.  However, you probably have a good ten seconds beforehand. 

Strangely, I see this as a blessing.  Think about it.  If a doctor told me that I only have 18 days left to live, I wouldn’t know what to do with myself.  How much time do I really have left?  On what day am I no longer able to function?  I probably only have 14 days of quality living remaining.  What do I do with 14 days?  Knowing me, I probably would spend the first few days trying to figure it out; the last few meditating on whether or not I spent my time wisely; and the days in between not really enjoying myself, and for obvious reasons.

Ten seconds on the other hand - a lot less thinking.  A lot more doing.

In this situation, its better to have a game plan long before you leave work.  You know, just in case.  Near as I can tell, you only have one of three options:

Option #1 - Stand where you, and scream.  I’m sure most people would do this.  It’s unfortunate to pee yourself standing up, but in the heat of the moment, it probably feels like the right thing to do.  On the bright side, you’d get to witness first hand what a shockwave of flame and debris looks like.  Ooooo pretty…

Option #2 - Run towards it.  A popular choice among fatalists, realists, pessimists, or people who just had a bad day.  Just get it over with.  You don’t really want to survive something like that anyways.  Think of the radiation poisoning, the permanent injuries, potential paralysis or dismemberment, fourth-degree burns, the medical bills.  I yi yi!  Besides, as Dennis Hopper would tell you, “In a mess like that, they don’t even count body parts... They’re going to be cleaning your friend up with a sponge.”

Option #3 - Run! The PSA will tell you to duck and cover - hide.  Not me.  I’d rather be proactive; take my fate in my own hands; feel like John McClane for a brief moment in my life.  Imagine the rush you’d get booking it as fast as you can, hurtling the hood of cars as an inferno rides in your wake.  If you’re going to die anyways, you might as well go out with a bang - live free or die hard I say!

I’d like to think that in that moment I would turn out to be my own personal hero.  Sadly, I’d probably just stand there screaming, or swatting, or both.

What would you do?